Box
from Ox in Dublin
"The dirty cow had a box on her like a reasonably priced tent. It barely touched the f*cking sides."
Sh*tfaced
from Nick in Dublin
"F*ck me, I have no idea what happened last night. I was totally f*cking sh*tfaced."
Fuming
from Pat Kenny in RTE
"Don't tell Tubridy I'm here, he's still fuming over me riding his mot"
Beak
from Jimbo in Dublin
"I'm crying out for some beak here, lads. I've been running on Tic Tacs and Guinness for days"
Clatty
from Damo in Cavan
"You clatty pr*ck. I told you she had herpes."
Acting the Maggot
from Stepo in Kildare
"Lads, I'll break your faces if ye don't stop acting the c*nting maggots, you little f*ckin' arsehole c*nts."
Air Biscuit
"I just floated a serious air biscuit there, gents. Run while you still f*cking can."
Arse
"Christ, lads. I've an arse on me like the back of Batman's car after that Guinness last night."
Arsing Around
from Sweep in Israel
"See that lazy little f*ckstick up there? If he doesn't stop arsing around with those f*cking slates I'll climb up there and f*ck him off the roof myself."
Ass juice
from Eamon in New Ross
"The symptoms? Well my sphincter is twitching like a f*cking jumping bean and I've got ass juice running down my leg."
Aul Wan
from Martin in Dublin
"Jesus f*ck, will you ask yer aul wan to button up her f*cking dressing gown? I'm trying to f*cking eat here, you f*cking silly little squirrel faced c*nt."
Back doors kicked in
from Bmctyrone in Teesside
"The three of 'em came in the showers, officer. All oiled up like. They kicked me f*ckin' back doors in."
Bag o' Swhag
from Jonny H in Armagh
"That blow job was a bag o' swhag, love. Now clean the floor there, will ye?"
Ball
from Paddy in Crossmaglen
"Jesus f*ck. There's some f*cking BALL of rain coming in."
Ballsch
from Nigel in Longford
"The internet, eh? Load of focking ballsch."
Banjaxed
"You can't drive everywhere in first gear you wild-eyed b*tch! The f*cking car is banjaxed!"
Barse
from Paul in Co. Down
"She had a face like my dead uncle's barse."
Beak
from Jimbo in Dublin
"I'm crying out for some beak here, lads. I've been running on Tic Tacs and Guinness for days"
Beak
"F*ck me, lads. Any beak? I'm about to gnaw my own f*cking leg off here."
Benjy
from Niall in Naas
"Some bang of benjy off your sister, Henry. Any danger of having a word with the smelly b*tch?"
Bet
from Derek in Co. Waterford
"Bet? Lads, I'm not exaggerating when I say she has a head like a melted wheelie bin. I almost got sick."
Bettys
"Did you see the bettys on Grafton Street earlier? F*ck me; they were coming down two by f*cking two."
Boat
from shodda in d6
"Why? Because you've a boat on you like a f*ckin' bag of dead rats."
Bogger
from Susan in Waterford
"The thick c*nt dragged an acre of sh*t into the shop with him, that's f*cking boggers for you."
Bombay Sh*tehawk
from Joe in Eyeorland
"Get up the yard, ya bombay sh*tehawk!"
Box
from Ox in Dublin
"The dirty cow had a box on her like a reasonably priced tent. It barely touched the f*cking sides."
Boxed off
from Paud in Waterford
"After the sh*t, shave and shower I felt totally boxed off."
Cacks
from Garzo The Tart in The Backend of Me Bollix
"Oh ballbags. I've just passed a motion into me cacks. Please take me to Dunnes post haste so that I can procure a new pair."
Chancer
"I saw him get away with it, too; the f*cking chancer. He was smiling like a cat with a cream-flavoured arsehole."
Chubbed Up
from Derek in Tralee
"I don't know about you, but after seeing Megan Fox in Transformers I was seriously chubbed up."
Cla
from Amo in Newry, Co Down
"Did ye see that film on the telly last night? Twas feckin' cla wa'nt it?"
Clackers
from Nick in Co. Derry
"Don't panic now, love, but one of me clackers has gone right up inside me after your rather vigorous hand action. You wouldn't give the f*cking ambulance a call there? I'm in quite a lot of pain."
Clatter
from Edel, Bernie and Thomas in Lille
"I will give ye a clatter in the jaw and a mug of warm badger's milk if ye don't cop on to yourself."
Clatty
from Damo in Cavan
"You clatty pr*ck. I told you she had herpes."
Cocktrough
from Garzo the Tart in The Backend of me Bollix
"Jaysus lads, the cocktrough on that thing was like ploughing a field with a pencil."
Cosbies
from Peter in Co. Louth
"Don't go in there for ten minutes lads. The cosbies were in a car crash"
Craic
"Paddy's day in The George, yeah. The craic was f*cking ninety. This big hairy fella ended up tossing my salad in the jacks. Lovely it was."
Creamed out of it
from Shoobus in Teddy's anus
"We used to pass the ball out to Stormin' Norman the whole time. Poor c*nt always got creamed out of it"
Cute Hoor
from Tom in Irish Slang
"He's some cute hoor alright, didn't buy a pint all night and went home seein' triple."
Da
"Stop f*ckin' with that lightbulb, da."
Delph
from allan farrell in dublin
"Some set of delph on that one there. She could eat an apple through a f*cking letterbox."
Dingleberries
from Andy in Montreal, Canada
"Put your trousers back on, Matthew. Your trunks are leapin' wi' dingleberries!"
Dirtball
from Shoe
"That fella over there in Dr. Quirky's Fun Time Emporium is some f*cking dirtball"
Doing a line
from Sas in Ballymena
"I'm pretty sure they're doing a line alright. There was f*ckin' gee juice and pubes all over the kitchen table this mornin'."
Dose
from Paud in Wateford
"Having my entire family die in the same week was a f*cking dose."
Double Bagger
from Edwina
"Jesus, you pulled some f*cking double bagger last night, she had a face on her that'd drive rats from a barn"
Eejit
"You're an awful f*ckin' eeijet da."
Fair Play
"Did you see him box Tubridy's f*cking jaw for him? Fair play."
Fanny Fart
from Dylan in The Park, Cabinteeley
"I was about to perform oral sex on my wife when the vile harpy left off a rather mistimed fanny fart. Needless to say her giblets remained uneaten."
Fannyballs
from weghs in irish slang
"That one off Tellybingo is some f*ckin' fannyballs."
Fartstrings
from Paddy G in Dublin
"All that beer from last night is really tugging on the old fartstrings, lads. Just so you know."
Feak
from Victoria in galway
"I'd feak the box off her"
Feck
"Feck"
Flaming
from irish slang in dictionary
"God, I was flaming last night. I'm sick as a little hospital today."
Flange
from Larry Garry in Your Rectum
"Oooooh keep goin' Jeremy, that's proper nice. Ye make me flange tingle!"
Flatten me
from dave in Castleknock
"Sheamus, you little f*ck, when you've finished f*cking around with the VCR, take me out to the pier and f*cking flatten me."
Fleecing
"Nah, they fired me for sleeping on the job. I fleeced two iPod on the way out though, so happy days."
Flute
"Good jaysus, has anyone got the number of an Ambulance, lads? That one with the braces has done a serious number on my flute."
F*ck Face
from Debbie in Carlow
"Get your f*cking hand out of my f*cking Hula Hoops, f*ck face."
F*ckhole
from bop in me fathers flute
"Goodnight f*ckholes"
F*ck's Sake
from Dave da Rave in Somewhere
"Hold on, love, for f*ck's sake. I'm almost at the vinegar strokes."
Fuming
from Pat Kenny in RTE
"Don't tell Tubridy I'm here, he's still fuming over me riding his mot"
Fun bags
from Lola H in north dublin
"Jesus, the fun bags on her. She could breastfeed a feckin' creche."
Gaff
from Adam in The Stones
"I'm actually going to knock the c*nt's gaff down with a f*cking hammer."
Gee
from Sinead in Dublin
"She's down in the Gaiety I think it is. Watchin' the gee monologues or some f*cking rubbish"
Geebag
"...and his mother? Talk about a f*cking geebag."
Geef
from Killer in London
"The focking geef of that Ryan Tubridy pr*ck, with his stupid focking head."
Giblets
from Damo in Co. Limerick
"Just pulled a cracker lads, going back home now to ate the giblets off her."
Gobsh*te
from Kev in Eire
"Get outta the way you fecking gobsh*te!!"
Growler
from Steve in out fareign
"I was about to ride the face off her when I saw her big dirty growler and puked me ring."
Guillermo
"Having rode those two corkers last night, I think it's fair to say I'm a complete Guillermo, and you're all bent."
Gurrier
"Lifestyle Sports: Clothing gurriers since 1984"
Gyppo
from loren greenpeace in battle star gattoxcake.
"Smell of burnt sticks off that thieving gyppo f*ck what just stole your dog."
High Falutin
from Dermot in Dublin
"Pat Kenny is some high falutin pr*ck, with his complete lack of personality and the hair on him."
Hole
"That Guinness is after cuttin' the hole off me."
Hoop
from Colm in Ballyboloc, Mayo-Antrim Border
"I will in my hoop move the f*cking car. I have a scrotum of a headache on me and you're a c*nt."
Hoop
"That curry last night is after nearly blowing the hoop off me"
Horned up
from Sweep
"I'm horned up with the new fella, the massive flute on him."
Horse it in
from Kootie Kat in Dublin/Buenos Aires
"Quit the fancy stuff there, Don Juan and just f*ckin' horse it into me!"
How Bad
from Taybag in Waterford
"All these presents are for me? How f*cking bad."
Jacks
"Jaysus, I just destroyed the jacks. There's porcelain everywhere."
Jap's Eye
from Job in Waterford
"Back in '82 he was just a twinkle in his father's Jap's Eye"
Jaysus
from irish slang in yo momma
"Jaysus! I wouldn't touch her if I had a truck full of mickeys"
Jo'er
from Bernard in Wicklow
"Her knickers are already in her handbag you f*cking c*nts! Just gimme some cash for the Jo'er!"
Johnny
"Shhh, lads - she's gagging for it - does anyone have a johnny?"
Keeping Sketch
from Sooty in Madrid
"Here. Keep sketch there now while I dip me mickey in Tubridy's pint. The skinny, no pay-cut taking DICKHEAD."
Knacker
"Thieving, thieving f*ckin' actual dirtball knackers."
Knobjockey
"He didn't get anywhere with her, the f*ckin' knobjockey."
Knobrot
"Jesus sufferin' f*ck, that one the other night has left with me a serious dose of knobrot. Look at the colour of it!"
Knock the hole off
from Dermot in Dublin
"If your sister keeps walking around in those gold hot pants I'll have to knock the hole off her, Lawrence. I can't f*cking concentrate."
Lack
from Ingo in Waterford
"Christ, your man's lack is some weapon."
Lad
from Eoin in Co. Cork
"I'm after gluing my lad to my f*ckin' leg again ma. Call an ambulance."
Lamp it in
from Bobby Kennatoni in Palermo
"Ah jaysus, me pissflaps are burnin' with desire loike, quit pr*cking around and lamp it into me boss!"
Langer
from Owen in Co. Cork
"I moved her knickers to the side last night and now I've only got half of a f*cking langer."
Lash
from Niamh in Dublin
"There's some load of lashes on Grafton Street lads, f*ck me."
Loosebit
"My knob's on the way out lads. If I don't get a loosebit tonight it could well be curtains."
Ma
from Matt in Derry
"I'm unattractive am I? Yeah? Well your ma is a dickhead."
Mad Ouva
from charles in dublin town
"Continually inhaling bronson into my nostrils the other night resulted in me being mad ouva."
Minesweeping
from Linda in Rathmines
"Was caught minesweeping by a rather burly gentleman last night. He boxed me on my f*cking nose."
Minge
from Conor in Dublin
"I tried to get down on her, but couldn't get past her minge. 'Wwas like gettin' stuck in a hedge."
Mingin'
"If I'd a garden full of mickeys I wouldn't let her look over the wall; she's absolutely mingin'."
Molly
"I hear you've got a new molly, yeah? I also heard she's got a face like a photo of a cat's hole. Have some f*cking dignity, will ye?"
Mongo Sap
from Rob and Dean in Cabinteely
"Get out of me ma's knicker drawer ye f*ckin' mongo sap!"
Mucksavage
from Lorraine in Dublin
"God, the mucksavages on You're a Star. What a f*cking embarrassment. An actual national f*cking embarrassment."
Mucksh*ts
from Howard in Clane
"These f*cking mucksh*t f*cks on the bus earlier, with their bullsh*t about Joe Dolan, and his penchant for singing a f*cking bent song. Those c*nts can lick my balls."
Muggins
"All drinkin' and havin' a laugh like. Not a care in the world. And who do you think had to clean up after them? That's right; Muggins here."
Nah
from Susan in Waterford
"Nah"
Nappy Arwshe
from A lady in Lady places
"Jeez, d'ya see the big nappy arwshe on yer one?"
Neddy
from Sweep
"That fella is a serious neddy, he'd annoy Pat Kenny's hole, the pr*ck."
Not worth a sh*te
from Jay in Longford
"Those f*cking plumbers that you got in aren't worth a sh*te. The pr*cks."
Oats
from Amo in Newry, Co. Down
"Bit of advice, son. Don't ever tell a woman she's a stupid, fat cow with the personality of a f*cking toothpick and a face like a bag of spanners. I haven't got my oats off your mother in three f*cking weeks. The disagreeable b*tch."
On de Ball
from Fox in Waterford
"Is this my cuppa? Nice one, on de ball yung fla."
On Thee Job
from Forty Pound Piss Flaps in Grizzly bear stanky
"Frankie wasn't sick today, Chip. He was at home on thee job."
One
"As I live and breathe! Did you see the focking orse on that one over there?"
Padjo
from Amo in Newry Co Down
"You and your f*cking stinking family can f*ck off away from my roof slates, ya f*ckin' padjo!"
Pie Retention
"Water retention is it, love? More like f*cking pie retention."
Pikey
from Nat in Dublin
"Get a job, ye f*ckin' pikey!"
Pipe
from rob and conor in enniskerry
"Yer one's after suckin' the pipe off me in an aisle in f*cking Xtravision, the little harpy."
Piss Artist
"Your dad's a piss artist, Timmy. A piss artist, and a useless pr*ck."
Pissflaps
from Steve in Co. Longford
"I was ridin' the bird last night and her pissflaps nearly tore the flute off me. It's f*cking killing me."
Plastered
"I was plastered for f*ck's sake. I'll buy you a new one."
Plums
from Peter in Co. Louth
"May your plums turn square and fester at each corner, ye c*nt."
Pony
from Adam in The Stones
"Were you in that gaff last night? Twas feckin' pony... "
Poof Juice
from Conor in Vocabulary land
"He's really lashing into the poof juice there. What a f*cking embarassment."
Pooh Bay
from The Nal in Dublin
"She was a feisty one right enough. Let me drop anchor in Pooh Bay, the whole lot."
Rasher
from Mars Bar in Dublin
"I gave it to her up the rasher last night, lads. Balls an' all."
"I rashered the arse off yer one for bad behaviour. She'd an arse like a Southhampton supporter's forehead in Benadorm"
Ratbark
from Garzo the Tart in The backend of me bollix
"F*ck me lads, I just did a ratbark that would drive a funeral up an alleyway"
Rattle
from Mars bar in Dublin
"I'd rattle her kidneys with me budgin' if I wasn't so gee-eyed."
Relax The Cacks
from Johnny B in Dublin 9, Ireland
"Relax the cacks, amigo. A bit of Sudocreme and that rash'll clear up in no time."
Ride
"Do I love ya? Sure amen't I riding ya?"
Ring
from The Drummer in Kildare
"But it's me borthdey, love. Can I not have a go on your ring?"
Ringpiece
from Johnny in Navan Road
"To err is human. To use the word ringpiece, divine."
Ronnie
from Poppa Joe in Dublin
"He was about 6 foot tall, with a ronnie that looked like someone shat on his f*cking lip."
Root
from Jason in Waterford
"Sorry lads, but I'd root the hole off that Carol Vorderman, there I've said it."
Rosspot
from Dave Fields in North Dublin
"That chick is a f*ckin' rosspot, I'd knock the arse off her!"
Sally
from Sionnach in La Gar
"I left that sally from earlier with a face like a painter's radio."
Savage
from The Drummer in Kildare
"That tune you just played on the harpsichord was savage, Phillip. Now f*ck off out of it, ya f*cking bufty."
Scaldy
from Gerro in Ahascragh (West of Ireland)
"Any chance of a cup of scaldy there young lad?"
Scaldy Ring
from Gemma in Dublin
"Stick some f*cking toilet paper in the fridge, Paula. I've a terrible dose of scaldy ring."
Scenario
from Mullo
"Come down for a pint, sure; there's feckin' scenario everywhere!"
Schnozzlewoppers
from Mullo
"I need to go down to B&Q and get a f*cking new tap for the missus. Have you the lend of a few schnozzlewoppers?"
Scoops
from Smashface in Monty Carlow
"Where's Byrne? It's his twist for the scoops, the tight fecker!"
Screed
from peewee in a dictionary
"There wasn't even a screed of gee in the whole place. Lads were almost getting off with each other, sure."
Scundered
from Andy in Montreal, Canada
"I sh*t me pants and was scundered for a hundred."
Scunders
from Dave and Johnny in Castleknock
"F*ck me lads, the missus got me these fancy new scunders and they're tearin' the bollix off me."
Scuttle
from James in Co. Antrim
"You must have given that one from the chipper an awful scuttling last night. She's walking like John f*cking Wayne over there."
Sh*t the Bed
from Rory in Dublin
"Sh*t the bed, that goddess I brought home last night has been kidnapped and replaced with a f*ckin' swamp donkey."
Sh*te
"Will you don't be listening to that fella. He's full of sh*te."
Sh*tehawk
from Shane K in Ballymore, Westmeath
"Spar and Centra? Don't trust them shower of robbin' sh*tehawk b*stards."
Sh*tfaced
from Nick in Dublin
"F*ck me, I have no idea what happened last night. I was totally f*cking sh*tfaced."
Shlunk
from Jabe
"He was up at the bar one minute and gone the next. Must have shlunked."
Simon's Trousers
from Fred in Tullow
"Jesus that Roisin Ingle one off the Irish Times has an awful pair of Simon's trousers on her."
Skagdick
from Andy M in Portmarnock
"Jesus, did ya see that Glenda Gilson one on the telly last night? I pulled the skagdick off meself."
Skanger
from Aido in Ballymun
"Jaysus, will ya look at the two skangers on that horse. F*ckin' scumbags."
Skimbock
from Gerro in Ahascragh (West of Ireland)
"Did ya get the bock last night? Damn right, skimbock all the way."
Skimming
from Smash-face in Carlow
"Easy with the skimming lads, trolls like those could give you a terrible dose of knob rot."
Skint
"Jesus, I'm skint after those f*ckin' hookers last night"
Sky Pilot
from Karl in Dublin
"On your bike, ya f*ckin' sky pilot!"
Slapper
from Alistair in Co. Down
"I'm sorry to tell ya lads, but I've a pair of balls on me like two c*nting coconuts. It's slappers all the way tonight."
Slice
from Gooders in Waterford
"Lend you a tenner, ye gamblin' b*tch? I will in me slice"
Smarties
from Sam in Co. Donegal
"Yeah, he's one today. Silly cow wasn't on the Smarties."
Smee
from Erin in not too far away
"Jaysus, smee ya f*ckin' steamboat!"
Snots
"Six snots to rent a DVD is it, you thieving b*stards? Yeah? Well I'll go download it so. See ya in the funny pages, dickheads!"
Spare arse
from Collie in Vancouver
"Well holy God, lads. There's spare arse as far as the eye can see."
Spide
from meatsy in belfast
"Get away from my f*cking iPod ya shiney little thieving spide c*nt"
Stall the Ball
from Baz in Waterford
"Stall the ball lads. It looks like yer one's gonna box herself off with that hurley."
Steamboats
from Andy in Montreal, Canada
"Look at yer man. He's f*ckin steamboats!"
Steep
from Ingo in Waterford
"Jaysus, that Barbara Streisand concert was steep as bunkers, beh. And bent as a f*cking U-nail."
Streak Of Piss
from J in Bray
"That Ryan Tubridy is some big eared personality vacuum of an interrupting streak of piss."
Swiss, the
from The Nal in irish slang
"The f*cking sound out of it was some pain in the swiss, though. Noisier than a skeleton wanking on a f*cking tin roof."
That's the Shot
from Decco in Waterford
"A suspended sentence? That's the shot your honour."
Thicko
from Carabumble in North Dublin
"He thinks manual labour is a Spanish musician. The f*ckin' thicko."
Throw it in
from Jason in Waterford
"She's missing an eye? F*ck it, bring her over and I'll throw it into her"
Titmickey
from Alex in Dublin
"This one caught me playing titmickey last night. Dirty cow ended up licking my balls beside a f*cking radiator."
Tobler
from tay in the convent
"When Neil Armstrong stepped onto the moon he finally felt as if he was completely on his tobler, then Buzz Aldrin hopped out and f*cking wrecked the buzz."
Tool
from DOC in Lucan
"You're a tool. And do you know why? It's because you're a ginge, Fintan. A dirty, freckly ginge."
Townie
from Susan in Waterford
"These f*cking townies coming out here with their mountain bikes and their f*cking picnics can lick my balls."
Tramp
"That Jodie Marsh is some tramp, if you kicked her in the hole a bucket of mickeys would fall out of her fanny."
Uppity
"Relax the cacks, ya uppity pr*ck. I'll put it back together after lunch."
Vinegar Strokes
"Keep it up, love! Keep it up! I'm at the f*cking vinegar strokes!"
Wagon
from Dave da Rave in Somewhere
"Leave 'em on ya f*ckin' wagon!"
Weapon
from irish phrases in your gee
"Will you stop going on about the wedding, ya bleedin' weapon? Ray f*cking Mears is on Top Gear!"
Wee Sacs
from Sean Gaughan in Glasgow
"Awrite wee sacs, make the tea, will ye?"
Willy Wonka
from Darragh in Louth
"I appear to have a rather serious case of Willy Wonka after that one last night"
Windy
"Shut up, ye windy f*ck."
Wopper
from Damo in Dublin nth
"As I live an breathe, that girl had some wopper box."
Wreck
from Susan in Waterford
"She's a wreck alright. Got a face on her like a bulldog licking piss off a nettle"
Wrote Off
from Lisa in Derry
"I'm so getting wrote off the map tonight lads, it's not even funny."
Young wan
from Andrew in Wicklow
"Jaysus, that young wan has an arse like two ferrets fighting in a bag."


